Mark Twain | Most Amazing List of Wit and Humor Quotes


I started reading books from a very young age.
I can still remember that “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” was the first book that I read. Just after that, I borrowed another book from my school library – “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”.
So both of my first books were written by Mark Twain. This is one of the reasons why I am so much influenced by his writings.

Mark Twain is actually the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens.
He was a famous American novelist, humorist, entrepreneur, lecturer, and travel writer. He is broadly viewed as one of the best American writers ever.

Being influenced by his writing I started checking his quotes. I found some of his quotes so witty and humorous, that I decided to dedicate this blog post to him.
Check this wonderful collection of the best Mark Twain quotes that will certainly amaze you.

Mark Twain Quotes

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn´t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

To get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.

Let us be thankful for the fools. Because of them the rest of us could not succeed.

A room without books is like a body without a soul.

Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.


Mark Twain is regarded as one of the best American writer ever.

Not only that, William Faulkner called him “the father of American Literature“.
During his lifetime he wrote more than 20 novels. His widely popular novel “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” is considered by many as “the Great American Novel“.

Mark Twain died in 1910 but will always be remembered for his humor, his witty quotes, his contribution in literature and for wonderful characters of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.


About Twain – Wikipedia

Biography – Britannica

Saurav Joshi

Hi, I am Saurav Joshi, an aspiring blogger and a computer science engineering student with a deeper passion for adventure than coding. Life is too short to try everything so this blog is dedicated to those who want the best of everything.

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